


Mah Immortal (A My Immortal Rewrite)

by MochiofDoom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gangsta, I am so sorry, Multi, My Immortal - Freeform, no i'm not, thug lyfe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 14:40:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5748277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MochiofDoom/pseuds/MochiofDoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yo hoes call me Ebony Dark'nizz Dementia Raven Way. I be a goth (in case you couldn't tell) n' I wear mostly black. I gots a straight-up boner fo' Hot Topic n' I loot all mah threadz from there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. [My Immortal, translated from goth to gangster.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 mah gf (ew not up in dat way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da rap n' spelling. U rok! Quentin ur da luv of mah deprzzin game u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Yo hoes call me Ebony Dark'nizz Dementia Raven Way n' I have long ebony black afro (thatz how tha fuck I gots mah name) wit purple streaks n' red tips dat reaches mah mid-back n' icy blue eyes like limpid tears n' a shitload of playas tell me I be lookin like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't give a fuck whoz ass her ass is git da hell outta here!). I aint related ta Gerard Way but I wish I was cuz he a major fuckin hottie. I be a vampire but mah teeth is straight n' white. I have pale white skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be also a witch, n' I git all up in a magic school called Hogwarts up in England where I be up in tha seventh year (I be seventeen). I be a goth (in case you couldn't tell) n' I wear mostly black. I gots a straight-up boner fo' Hot Topic n' I loot all mah threadz from there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. For example todizzle I was bustin a funky-ass black corset wit matchin lace round it n' a funky-ass black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets n' black combat boots, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I was bustin black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner n' red eye shadow. I was struttin outside Hogwarts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Dat shiznit was snowin n' drizzlin so there was no sun, which I was straight-up aiiight bout fo' realz. All dem preps stared all up in mah face. I put up mah middle finger at dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

"Yo Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. Well shiiiit, it was…. Draco Malfoy!

"Whatz fuckin' phat Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd shyly.

But then, I heard mah playaz call me n' I had ta go away.

AN: IS it good, biatch? PLZ tell me fangz!


	2. Chapta 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Da Next Dizzle

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flamin ma rap ok!

Da next dizzle I raised up in mah bedroom. Dat shiznit was snowin n' drizzlin again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I opened tha door of mah coffin n' drank some blood from a funky-ass forty I had. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! My fuckin coffin was black ebony n' inside dat shiznit was bangin' pink velvet wit black lace on tha ends. I gots outta mah coffin n' took of mah giant MCR t-shirt which I used fo' pajamas. Instead, I put on a funky-ass black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots n' black fishnets on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I put on four pairz of earrings up in mah pierced ears, n' put mah afro up in a kind of messy bun.

My fuckin playa, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) raised up then n' grinned all up in mah face. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch flipped her long waist-length raven black afro wit pink streaks n' opened her forest-chronic eyes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch put on her Marilyn Manston t-shirt wit a funky-ass black mini, fishnets n' pointy high-heeled boots, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation n' black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you poppin' off ta Draco Malfoy yesterday!" her big-ass booty holla'd excitedly.

"Yeah, biatch? So?" I holla'd, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she axed as we went outta tha Slytherin common room n' tha fuck into tha Great Hall.

"No I so fuckin don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Just then, Draco strutted up ta mah dirty ass.

"Hi." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Dope Charlotte is havin a gangbang up in Hogsmeade." tha pimpin' muthafucka holla'd at mah dirty ass.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I gots a straight-up boner fo' GC. They is mah straight-up crew, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you wanna go wit me son?" he asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapta 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dope Charlotte

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da phat reveiws muthafucka! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Dope Chralotte.

On tha night of tha gangbang I put on mah black lace-up boots wit high heels. Underneath dem was ripped red fishnets, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Then I put on a funky-ass black leather minidress wit all dis corset shiznit on tha back n' front. I put on matchin fishnet on mah arms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. I straightened mah afro n' juiced it up look all spiky. I felt a lil pissed off then, so I slit one of mah wrists, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I read a wack book while I waited fo' it ta stop bleedin n' I listened ta some GC. I painted mah nails black n' put on TONS of black eyeliner n' shit. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation cuz I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was locked n loaded ta git all up in tha concert.

I went outside. Draco was waitin there up in front of his wild lil' flyin hoopty yo. Dude was bustin a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play all up in tha show too), baggy black skata pants, black nail polish n' a lil eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"Yo Draco!" I holla'd up in a thugged-out pissed off voice.

"Yo Ebony." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd back. Us thugs strutted tha fuck into his wild lil' flyin black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate holla'd 666) n' flew ta tha place wit tha concert. On tha way our slick asses listened excitedly ta Dope Charlotte n' Marilyn Manson. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We both smoked blunts n' sticky-icky-ickys. When we gots there, we both hopped outta tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Us thugs went ta tha mosh pit all up in tha front of tha stage n' jumped up n' down as our slick asses listened ta Dope Charlotte.

"Yo ass come up in cold, you covered up in blood  
They're all so aiiight you've arrived  
Da doctor cuts yo' cord, handz you ta yo' mom  
Bitch sets you free tha fuck into dis game." busted Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fuckin hot." I holla'd ta Draco, pointin ta his ass as da perved-out muthafucka sung, fillin tha club wit his thugged-out dunkadelic voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"Whatz wrong?" I axed as we moshed ta tha beatz. Drop dis like itz hot! Then I caught on.

"Yo, itz aiiight I don't like his ass betta than YOU!" I holla'd.

"Really?" axed Draco sensitively n' he put his thugged-out arm round mah crazy ass all protective.

"Really." I holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Besides I don't even know Joel n' he goin up wit Hilary fuckin Duff. I fuckin don't give a fuck bout dat lil biiiatch." I holla'd disgustedly, thankin of her skanky blonde face.

Da night went on straight-up well, n' I had a pimped out time. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So did Draco fo' realz. Afta tha concert, our phat asses drank some brew n' axed Benji n' Joel fo' they autographs n' photos wit dem wild-ass muthafuckas. We gots GC gangbang tees. Draco n' I crawled back tha fuck into tha Mercedes-Benz yo, but Draco didn't go back tha fuck into Hogwarts, instead da ruffneck drove tha hoopty into… tha Forbidden Forest!


	4. Chapta 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Dank Time

AN: I sed stup flamin aiiight ebonyz name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he be actin defrent son! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"DRACO!" I shouted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. "What tha fuck do you be thinkin yo ass is bustin?"

Draco didn't answer but da perved-out muthafucka stopped tha flyin hoopty n' da thug strutted outta dat shit. I strutted outta it too, curiously.

"What tha fuckin hell?" I axed angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned up in extra-close n' I looked tha fuck into his wild lil' freakadelic gothic red eyes (he was bustin color contacts) which revealed so much wack sorrow n' evilnizz n' then suddenly I didn't feel mad no mo'.

And then… suddenly just as I Draco busted mah crazy ass passionately. Draco climbed on top of me n' we started ta make up keenly against a tree yo. Dude took of mah top n' I took of his clothes. I even took of mah bra. Then he put his cold-ass thangie tha fuck into mah you-know-what n' our phat asses done did it fo' tha last time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I was beginnin ta git a orgasm. We started ta lick everywhere n' mah pale body became all warm fo' realz. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Dumbledore!


	5. Chapta 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mackdaddy's

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr playa! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz dat schmoooove muthafucka had a hedache aiiight a on tup of dat da thug wuz mad at dem 4 bustin a nutx! PS im nut uppimpin umtil I git five phat revoiws!

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Dumbledore made n' Draco n' I follow his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude kept shoutin at our asses angrily.

"Yo ass ludacris fools!" da perved-out muthafucka shouted.

I started ta cry tearz of blood down mah pallid face. Draco comforted mah dirty ass. When we went back ta tha castle Dumbledore took our asses ta Pimp Snape n' Pimp McGonagall whoz ass was both lookin straight-up mad salty.

"They was havin horny-ass intercourse up in tha Forbidden Forest!" he yelled up in a gangbangin' furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thang, you mediocre dunces?" axed Pimp McGonagall.

"How tha fuck dare yo slick ass?" demanded Pimp Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was on tha fuckin' down-low. Dumbledore n' Pimp McGonagall still looked mad but Pimp Snape holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Fine. Straight-up well. Yo ass may go up ta yo' rooms."

Draco n' I went upstairs while tha mackdaddys glared at us.

"Is you aiiight, Ebony?" Draco axed mah crazy ass gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I went ta tha girl’s dorm n' brushed mah teeth n' mah afro n' chizzled tha fuck into a low-cut black floor-length dress wit red lace all round it n' black high heels. When I came out….

Draco was standin up in front of tha bathroom, n' da perved-out muthafucka started ta rap ‘I just wanna live’ by Dope Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though da thug wasn’t supposed ta be there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Our thugged-out asses hugged n' kissed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Afta that, we holla'd git tha fuck outta ma bidnizz n' he reluctantly went back tha fuck into his bangin room.


	6. Chapta 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Larry Potsmoker

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

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Da next dizzle I raised up in mah coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I put on a funky-ass black miniskirt dat was all ripped round tha end n' a matchin top wit red skulls all over it n' high heeled boots dat was black. I put on two pairz of skull earrings, n' two crosses up in mah ears. I spray-painted mah afro wit purple.

In tha Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal wit blood instead of milk, n' a glass of red blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Suddenly one of mah thugs bumped tha fuck into mah dirty ass fo' realz. All tha blood spilled over mah top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted sayin it when I looked up cause I was lookin tha fuck into tha pale white grill of a gothic pimp wit spiky black afro wit red streaks up in it yo. Dude was bustin so much eyeliner dat I was goin down his wild lil' grill n' da thug was bustin black lipstick yo. Dude didn’t have glasses no mo' n' now da thug was bustin red contact lenses just like Draco’s n' there was no scar on his wild lil' forhead no mo' yo. Dude had a manly stubble on his chin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude had a thugged-out dirty Gangsta accent yo. Dude looked exactly like Joel Madden. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude was so dirty dat mah body went all bangin' when I saw his ass kind of like a erection only I’m a hoe so I didn’t git one you sicko.

"I’m so sorry bout dat bullshit." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shy voice.

"That’s all right. What’s yo' name?" I questioned.

"My fuckin name’s Larry Potsmoker, although most playas call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I gots a straight-up boner fo' tha taste of human blood." he giggled.

"Well, I be a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" da thug whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down ta rap fo' a while. Then Draco came up behind mah crazy ass n' holla'd at mah crazy ass dat schmoooove muthafucka had a surprise fo' me so I went away wit his muthafuckin ass.


	7. Chapta 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frazzle Orgazzle

AN: wel aiiight u muthafuckaz im only writtin dis cuz I gots 5 god reviuws. n BTW I aint gonna rite da nxt chapta til I git TIN god vons muthafucka! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony aint a Marie Sue aiiight she aint slick SHES A SATANITS! n dat freaky freaky biatch has problemz shes pissed off 4 godz sake!

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Draco n' I held our pale white handz wit black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was bustin red Satanist sings on mah nails up in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved ta Vampire. Dark misery was up in his fuckin lil' pissed off eyes. I guess da thug was jealouz of me dat I was goin up wit Draco fo' realz. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly wit Draco. Us thugs went tha fuck into his bangin room n' locked tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Then…………

We started frenchin passively n' we took off each others threadz enthusiastically yo. Dude felt me up before I took of mah top. Then I took off mah black leather bra n' tha pimpin' muthafucka took off his thugged-out lil' pants, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Us thugs went on tha bed n' started makin up naked n' then he put his boy’s thangy up in mine n' we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while gettin a orgazzle when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never peeped before on Draco’s arm. Dat shiznit was a funky-ass black ass wit a arrow all up in dat shit. On it up in bloody gothic freestylin was tha lyrics………… Vampire!

I was so mad salty.

"Yo ass bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumpin outta tha bed.

"No! No! But you don’t understand!" Draco pleaded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, mu thatcka! But I knew too much.

"Fuck dat shit, you fuckin idiot!" I shouted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. "Yo ass probably have AIDs anyway!"

I put on mah threadz all huffily n' then stomped out. Draco ran up even though da thug was naked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude had a straight-up big-ass you-know-what but I was too mad ta care. I stomped up n' did so until I was up in Vampire’s classroom where da thug was havin a lesson wit Pimp Snape n' some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKA!" I yelled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!  


	8. Chapter 8

AN: wel aiiight u muthafuckaz im only writtin dis cuz I gots 5 god reviuws. n BTW I aint gonna rite da nxt chapta til I git TIN god vons muthafucka! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony aint a Marie Sue aiiight she aint slick SHES A SATANITS! n dat freaky freaky biatch has problemz shes pissed off 4 godz sake!

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Draco n' I held our pale white handz wit black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was bustin red Satanist sings on mah nails up in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved ta Vampire. Dark misery was up in his fuckin lil' pissed off eyes. I guess da thug was jealouz of me dat I was goin up wit Draco fo' realz. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly wit Draco. Us thugs went tha fuck into his bangin room n' locked tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Then…………

We started frenchin passively n' we took off each others threadz enthusiastically yo. Dude felt me up before I took of mah top. Then I took off mah black leather bra n' tha pimpin' muthafucka took off his thugged-out lil' pants, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Us thugs went on tha bed n' started makin up naked n' then he put his boy’s thangy up in mine n' we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while gettin a orgazzle when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never peeped before on Draco’s arm. Dat shiznit was a funky-ass black ass wit a arrow all up in dat shit. On it up in bloody gothic freestylin was tha lyrics………… Vampire!

I was so mad salty.

"Yo ass bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumpin outta tha bed.

"No! No! But you don’t understand!" Draco pleaded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, mu thatcka! But I knew too much.

"Fuck dat shit, you fuckin idiot!" I shouted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. "Yo ass probably have AIDs anyway!"

I put on mah threadz all huffily n' then stomped out. Draco ran up even though da thug was naked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude had a straight-up big-ass you-know-what but I was too mad ta care. I stomped up n' did so until I was up in Vampire’s classroom where da thug was havin a lesson wit Pimp Snape n' some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKA!" I yelled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!  

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I need to bleach my eyes after what I have created. And I am doing every chapter of My Immortal as well. Stan help us all.


End file.
